Rethinking Our Thinking

 How to Have Better Interactions.

Photo by Jason Strull on Unsplash

We’ve all been there: engaged in an interaction where we made assumptions, jumped to conclusions, or failed to see another perspective. Our mental shortcuts and biases can distort reality if left unchecked, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts. But what if there was a way to approach our interactions and thinking in a more conscious, inclusive manner?

Trevor Maber believes the key lies in understanding a concept called “the ladder of inference.” This metaphor illustrates how we unconsciously climb rungs of data, interpretations, beliefs, and actions to make sense of the world. At each step, our preconceptions and limited information can influence where we end up. By climbing intentionally, however, we can gain insights and avoid flawed perceptions.

The first rung is data — what we observe through our senses. However, we selectively process inputs based on experiences. As a father, when my toddler cries, I may infer hunger or tiredness rather than consider other causes. To gather diverse data, slowing down allows for questioning assumptions and seeking different angles.

With more information, the next rung — interpretation — becomes richer. Rather than hastily concluding, pause to understand various meanings. During a family debate, I now ask clarifying questions to avoid misinterpreting positions. Considering alternatives leads to wiser viewpoints.

From interpretations stem beliefs, the third rung. But are my beliefs truly supported or influenced by biases? Challenging preconceptions with facts opens beliefs to evolution. In a work meeting, Maria realized her belief in a colleague’s laziness was unfounded once considered their struggles.

Lastly, the top rung is action. However, acting on incomplete or distorted understandings can cause friction. By validating interpretations through respectful dialogue, outcomes become mutually beneficial. When John shared research with hesitant partners, they found alignment by addressing each other’s perspectives.

Rethinking our thinking requires this kind of conscious climbing — slowing down, gathering diverse data, examining assumptions, and testing understandings cooperatively rather than individually. It also means embracing an ongoing learning process rather than fixed beliefs. Are interactions not like experiments where hypotheses can be revised?

With practice, tools like empathy, active listening, and questioning become habitual. By listening for interests rather than positions, and reflecting on how biases may shape perspectives, mutual understanding replaces conflict. Diverse teams able to rethink collectively in this way outperform those relying on automatic thinking.

While easy to fall back into old patterns, small, deliberate efforts each day can shift our interactions positively. The rewards of rethinking thinking, in relationships, workplaces, and society are well worth the journey. By embracing an evolving, more inclusive way of making sense of the world, limitless new possibilities for connection and growth emerge.